When your best friend is going through something as big and life-altering as addiction, it can feel like your heart is trying to carry a weight it wasn’t built to hold. You want to be there.
You want to fix it. You want to rewind time and find the moment it all started so you can stop it before it snowballs. But time doesn’t work that way. And neither does healing.
Addiction is a winding road, full of highs, lows, and hard turns. And being the best friend of someone caught in the middle of it? That’s its own kind of ache.
But there are ways to walk beside her without getting lost yourself. Ways to hold her hand without getting dragged under. You don’t have to be a counselor or a therapist or some expert on recovery.
You just have to be you. Her best friend. A safe place when everything else feels like a storm.
And even though this might not feel like something you’d ever see tied to your usual style content or shopping guides, let’s be real—what’s more stylish than showing up for your people?
Start With The Hardest Step: Actually Acknowledging What’s Happening
Let’s be honest. The first thing most of us want to do when we notice something’s wrong with someone we love is pretend it isn’t.
We tell ourselves they’re just tired, stressed, going through a phase, or dealing with a bad breakup. It’s easier to live in the story where everything’s fine than to sit in the one where things are not.
But if your friend is struggling with addiction, staying silent can hurt her more than saying the wrong thing ever could.
You don’t need to have all the perfect words. In fact, don’t try to sound perfect at all. Speak like a friend, not a script. Tell her you’re worried. That you miss her laugh.
That something feels off. That you’re not judging, you’re just here. She may deny it. She might pull away. She might even get angry. But you’ve planted a seed. You’ve opened a door.
And that matters more than you think.
Don’t Try To Be Her Fix—Be Her Mirror
One of the easiest traps to fall into when someone you love is hurting is trying to fix them. You start canceling plans to be available 24/7.
You look up treatments, make lists, clean up her messes, cover for her when she misses work or school or family dinners. But doing everything for her doesn’t help her get better. It just helps her hide a little longer.
What she needs most is someone who reflects who she really is back to her. Not the addiction. Not the mess. The real her. The her who used to dance in your kitchen and sing like no one was watching.
The her who sends you memes at 2 a.m. and always remembers your coffee order. Talk to that version of her. Remind her she’s still in there. That you believe she’s strong enough to come back to herself, even if it takes time.
When she’s ready—or even thinking about getting help—check out CasaCapriRecovery.com, recoveryranch.com or other reputable centers to help her.
And yes, it matters that the place she goes to feels safe and affirming. She needs more than just a bed and a routine. She needs compassion, understanding, and a support system that doesn’t feel cold or clinical. So do a little research and guide her, but let her choose.
She needs to own her healing, not feel like she’s being dragged into it.
Stay Connected In Small, Real Ways That Don’t Feel Like Pressure
Once your friend knows you’re in her corner, you might feel unsure of what to do next. Do you text her every day? Do you give her space?
Do you check in like nothing’s wrong or keep bringing it up until she says she’ll get help? The answer isn’t one-size-fits-all, but here’s a good way to think of it: keep showing up in ways that feel honest, but not overwhelming.
If she’s not ready to talk about recovery, ask about the stuff she still loves. Ask about her dog. Her favorite reality show. Her go-to pizza toppings. Let her know she’s not just her struggle.
She’s still your best friend. She’s still allowed to laugh and talk about that guy she used to have a crush on in high school. And when you do talk about deeper things, remind her that you’re not trying to control her. You’re here because you care.
One of the simplest ways to keep the connection strong is by remembering the little things. Send her a random photo of you two from years ago. Leave a funny voicemail.
Text her on her birthday even if she’s not answering anyone else. Slip in heartfelt birthday wishes even if you’re not sure she’ll read them.
These small things have more power than they seem. They remind her that she’s not forgotten. That she still matters.
Protect Your Energy Without Letting Go Of Compassion
This one’s big, and it’s often the part that gets overlooked. When you love someone struggling with addiction, it’s easy to lose yourself in their pain. You start missing your own plans.
You stop taking care of your body. You cry more than you sleep. And sometimes, you forget that it’s okay to step back—not to abandon them, but to protect yourself.
Set boundaries, even if it feels scary. If she’s constantly calling in the middle of the night while high or drunk, it’s okay to let it go to voicemail and call back in the morning.
If she asks for money, and you know it won’t help her in the long run, you can say no without being a bad friend. You are not her lifeline. You are not her only hope.
You are one part of her support system, and you’re allowed to breathe too.
When you take care of yourself—whether it’s going to yoga, putting on a cozy outfit that makes you feel human again, or simply spending a Saturday offline—you show her what healthy looks like.
You become a soft but strong example of someone who loves her and loves herself. And in a world that often glamorizes over giving, that’s powerful.
Celebrate Every Tiny Win Like It’s Everything
Maybe she goes a day without using. Maybe she admits something she’s been hiding. Maybe she looks you in the eye and says, “I want to change.”
These moments might seem small from the outside, but they’re huge in the world of addiction. Celebrate them. Not with confetti or pressure, but with love.
With a smile. A hug. A “I’m proud of you” that comes from deep in your gut.
Recovery isn’t fast. It’s not neat or pretty or perfect. But it’s possible. And the more your friend feels seen, supported, and celebrated through it, the more she’ll believe she can keep going.
Keep being her cheerleader, even when the stands feel empty. Your voice might be the one she remembers when everything else feels loud and hopeless.
Your friendship could be the thing that helps her hold on just a little longer. That reminds her she’s worth the fight. That keeps her walking forward when it would be easier to fall back.
And even if you never say the perfect thing or do it all right, the fact that you’re still here—still loving her, still hoping, still showing up—is something that can’t be measured.
That kind of love? That kind of friendship? It matters more than words could ever say.