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The Quiet Side of Splitting Up: What No One Talks About After Divorce

Published by Liz Morgan

Divorce is often depicted in film and TV shows, but this often focuses on the bigger picture.

Attention is paid to the messy legal proceedings, rediscovering yourself and finding love again, but there are some lesser seen parts of divorce that no one really talks about.

It’s hard to be fully prepared for the emotional and financial fallout of a divorce. Whether you have kids or not, the process is simply devastating as you have to pick apart your lives and then rebuild as individuals.

In this guide, we’re looking at some of the lesser seen aspects of divorce and the parts that no one ever seems to talk about.

Being aware that these instances might help you to approach them with curiosity rather than fear.

Learning to coparent

Part of the divorce process will involve deciding how your children will split their time. In fact, you won’t be able to finalise your divorce until you have explored your custody rights and decided how your children will spend their time.

Once you have decided the custody split, it will be time to start the difficult task of coparenting. If you are accustomed to always having support, it can be overwhelming to tackle parenting tasks alone for the first time.

Financial impact of living alone

Another thing that no one ever seems to mention is the shock that comes when you discover how expensive it is to live alone.

Modern life favours couples and it could even be said that single people are unfairly taxed for living alone.

Everything seems to get more expensive in the wake of a divorce, but the good news is that you’ll be in complete control of your finances again. This means you can decide how to best optimise your budget.

Changing your name on important documents

You might not realise just how many documents and organisations need to be informed until you get caught out and called by your divorced name following a breakup.

It can also be expensive, with documents like your passport having to be paid for again, rather than being able to simply apply for a name update.

Keep an eye on your mail in the months after your divorce and this will give you a good idea of who needs to be informed of your change of name. Things like loyalty cards, your GP and your dentist are often the last to hear about your change of name.

Navigating a new dating scene

The last time you were single, the dating scene was probably a very different place. It’s no longer as common to meet in real life, with many people preferring to find love matches on dating apps.

But this impersonalised approach to dating has changed the prospect in many ways. Some find it completely devoid of romance, with many people going on dates with a checklist of qualities they are looking for.

There are also plenty of dating horror stories around that might make you think twice about signing up. Ask any single person and they will likely have a story about matching with someone who was clearly in a relationship, or getting ghosted for no reason.

Splitting up your friends

While many will want to stay neutral after a divorce, you might find that some friends naturally take sides.

Rather than stressing about who doesn’t stick around, focus your attention on those that stay by your side.

Remember that some people find the idea of a divorce very difficult to navigate, and they might worry about saying the wrong thing, so it’s often not about truly taking sides.

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Elizabeth Morgan who owns Cleo Madison

I'm Liz, a modest fashion blogger and twin momma. It's my mission to help you find modest clothing for every occasion! Read More

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